Inner Thoughts…

cut my long lines of self description…
i just realized something…
“i’m not really the girl i used to think i was”
how did i know??…

i met someone…
i can’t really talk so much when he’s around…
i just can’t cut my eyes off him…
the right words don’t really come out most of the time…
i just know that he understands even when i don’t talk..
he’s just amazing…
it just amazes me the way he talks and how he moves around…
i see myself so much in him that i’m little by little starting to leave the ‘old me’…
it’s hard to understand but i just think i can’t have two of me at the same time…hehe

i know im making a new ‘me’…
and i’m like learning the right things this time from someone who thinks like me..he’s just a lil better..magulo ba?hehe

i don’t care if it confuses you guys anyway…
i just don’t really know myself right now very well…

i know im acting so stupid most of the time.i apologize baby..i just can’t help myself from being clumsy sometimes.it’s probably because i know you’ll always be there to fix my crooks and help me to change.
i can’t stop the feeling that you’d be the last one to leave me and the only one to love me at my worst…

…for the one i trust to always remember me for my laughter and not my mistakes…

o dba shala?!
hehe
bongga…

i loveyou baby…
i’ll never get tired looking at you…

i’ll try to make this as short as possible…
let me start by expressing how much i love myself…
i love myself more than anything and anyone else!
i don’t know if this is weird but let me tell you this..
because ilove myself so much, i always stick to the things that make me happy, even the things that can ruin my life and even the things that hurt me…

i hate the feeling of rejection so i choose the people i go with.
i may have low standards, i may not always be with the good ones and be with the ‘troublesomes’ instead…but i honestly find the BEST ones in the WORST crowd… Real people with reaL attitude.

if i love a person i always try to fit in their lives… it doesn’t matter if it takes so much adjustments for me…
i don’t risk my relationships with simple things… i’d never wanna lose anyone over a penny… and if not the material things, i’d lower my pride to apologize if some way it’s my fault.

im patient only with my friends and family.

when it comes to serious talks, i always expand my understanding as much as possible. and i always try to keep my opinions kind. but i still hold my own judgements carefully.

i tend to make sudden decisions when im emotional.but i take them back and eat my pride when i realize they’re wrong especially when the situation hurts me more.

i’m a go-getter and always get what i want. im patient and i know how to wait for the right time for things. but when i already said ‘it’s mine’, i’ll make sure it’s mine.

i’m trying to make-up for all the things i’ve done to my family. i may be really a rebel and arrogant sometimes but God knows how much i dedicate my dreams and goals for them. i am blessed with a 99% perfect family and i thank God for it.

Nothing really threats my life except me. I am afraid of nothing. Especially not a bitch can scare me. but aside from my feet, my heart is weak…

I cry when im trying to keep my patience and when im badly hurt inside. my tears are precious and you won’t see them unless i love you.

what else..???
ahmmm…
for everyone, who thinks badly of me… know me well first then judge me. ask me anything, honesty is my virtue. there are so many reasons why i am loved and why some things are traded for my presence and attention.hahaha! SO don’t ask me things you won’t wanna hear the answers…hehehehe!

i know i owe GOD a lot for doing something unforgivable…
but i hope he still listens to my heart and understands my feelings…
i don’t pray he take my burden way…i just wish he stand by me while i carry this burden inside me….

pangarap ko na matamis ay para sa iyo

ang magkaanak tayo na puro bobo

ang makasama ka, sayo magkapamilya

sa ilalim ng tulay duon kita ititira

pangarap kong mabigyan kita ng kariton

ikaw at ang anak natin magtutulak maghapon

dahil ako’y walang silbe,ika’y magsisilbe

ikaw at ang anak natin mamamasura lage

mas maswerte tayo sa iba at mas mapalad,

dahil mamumuhay tayo na kapos-palad

palagi tayong magdidildil ng asin

at pag walang makain itutulog nalang natin

oh my fiancee, listen to what i say

magiging buhay natin  kahirapan everyday

walang wala ka mapapala yan ay asahan mo

dahil hindi ako magkakaroon ng trabaho

girl, pwede kabang maging asawa?

girl,habang buhay tayo mag sasama

pero hindi ka pwedeng magreklamo

at lahat ng ito’y dapat titiisin mo

at ang mahalaga ay no return no exchange tayo

oh ano?oh say mo?

bawat segundo ng buhay mo biglang mag-iiba,

buhay sa kalsada iyong matatamasa,

ititira kita sa bahay ko na madilim

dalawang beses sa isang linggo,hapunan lang tayo kakain

hindi na natin matutupad mga pangarap

ikaw at ako magsasama sa paghihirap

sa simbahan,mamamalimos ka maghapon

habang ako’y manghohold-up at mang-iisnatch ng cellphone

at lalaking mga baluga ang ating anak

pati sa eskwelahan hindi sila makakaapak

ganyan kita kamahal,ako’y magbabakal

kakainin nalang natin akin pang isusugal

inaalay ko sayo buhay ko sa basurahan

pinapangako ko sayo tayo’y walang kinabukasan

walang iwanan hanggang sa tayo’y tumanda

inibig moko girl kaya wala kang napala

binuntis kita agad kaya di na nakapalag,

sa ayaw mo’t sa gusto kasama moko magdamag

sa wakas may katabe narin matulog sa estero

magsisiksikan tayo sa aking bahay-kubo

di ka pababayaan,iingatan

nakagwantes kang magkakalkal basurahan

pero wag mag-alala kasama mo ating anak,

habang ako ay tulala,ikaw nama’y puro iyak

promise ko ititreat ko ang buong family

mag-aabang,kakain ng tira-tira sa jollibee

para germ-free, para iwas sa sakit,

kapag panis na iiinitin lang ulet

mamumuhay tayo ng marangal,hindi tayo kakain ng almusal

gutom natin titiisin,lilipas din naman

mamumuhay tayong walang luho sa katawan

****

pano na kung di ako naging sikat na movie star?

at nachambahan mo akong maging asawa

araw-araw tanduay, araw-araw tambay

imbis na rockwell dun tayo sa tulay

at sa palengke nag-aabang ng bigay

ng mga buntot ng baboy at bulok na gulay

pupunta ng channel 7 tska dun ka sama ka sa mga artista

manghihingi ng barya pambili ng ukay-ukay na may mantsa na stain,

expired na de lata botox??? na putocake!

at ang mga anak sa ampunan pdadala

kase di kaya palamunin,paaralin sila

at tayo’y nasa malate alas syete ng gabi,

ibubugaw kita at isasakay sa taxi

pero thank god! nabiyayaan ako,

kaya di mo mararanasan mga bagay nato…=)

There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it’s hard but I gotta do it,
And it’s killing me
Cause there’s never a right time
Right time to say goodbye